Cheers, Jim Asbell

Friends and Family:

Jim has left us.

On Sunday morning when Jim woke up at 6 he was already in great pain. I asked him if he wanted one lump or two, meaning one morphine pill or two. He held up two fingers. An hour later, still in pain and coughing, I knew he was in trouble and called hospice. I’d given him everything I was allowed to at that point for relaxation, pain, and cough.

Within a few hours his hospice nurse had changed all of his medications to liquids and the pharmacy was en route. She told both Jim and me he was dying. His breathing was labored, oxygen levels were dropping, and he could no longer speak by the time his new drugs arrived and had been administered. An hour after that, with his cough controlled, pain at bay, and still wearing his game day Ducks T-shirt from the day before, he slipped away quietly, just before 1 pm.

Our friend and retired nurse Patti Dennis arrived early and stayed the entire day, providing medical support, comfort, and doing all the stuff I just could not do. Her husband David came later and helped too. They made the most difficult day of my entire life bearable, and allowed Jim Asbell to leave this world exactly in the manner he wanted.

No one could have known the day before that Jim would leave so quickly. Our friend Lynn came and dropped off soup, flowers, and a card on Saturday morning. Jim’s hospice volunteer came in the afternoon and they watched the Ducks squash Utah. Although Jim was exhausted, I woke him up to enjoy a bit of dinner on Saturday evening, delivered courtesy of our neighbor and friend, Sandy. Jim had a few sips of Chardonnay, followed by a small glass of red wine. Sandy made an unusual dessert and he was not sure he’d like it, but he gave it a try. It was his favorite ice cream, Cherry Garcia, doused with a special tart cherry liqueur. He loved it. It was the last thing he ever ate.

Late on Sunday afternoon, Jim’s body was transported to Phoenix. He chose to donate his body to medical science. When he’s done teaching medical students about the mysteries of the human body, he will be cremated and his ashes will be returned to me. A tree will be planted in his honor. Patti, David, and I toasted Jim with a beautiful Zichichi  old vine Zinfandel from the Dry Creek area of Sonoma. It was a choice worthy of the man.

Jim did not want any type of religious service or a formal memorial. When his friend Jeff Elliot passed, his wife held an informal open house and Jim decided that would be okay for him too. So, in a couple of weeks I will host the Jim Asbell memorial happy hour at our home. Details to follow once the date is set.