Garbage Bags, Duct Tape and Nurse Cindy

File this story in the “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” category.

This morning as I slaved away at the computer, I heard the shower water running. The patient was bathing unassisted for the first time since surgery, unless you count some help from a cat who likes to lap up free range shower water. I went in to see if anything was needed and discovered the shower was not quite complete.

There he stood, naked, sopping wet, with a king-size outdoor type trash bag fashioned into a skirt about his middle. This stunning designer garment was held together along the seam by duct tape, naturally. A small strip of first aid tape at the waist area secured the skirt to his skin to ensure no water would run directly onto the belly wound sites. I began to giggle and had to resist the urge to get the camera.

Me: What the hell is that thing?

Him: Well, you said the nurse told me to just tape a plastic sandwich baggie over the site so it would stay dry until she got here.

I will spare you the details of what the nurse actually said, what I told him, and his unique interpretation. When our very sweet home health nurse arrived and I told her about the garbage bag skirt we all had a good laugh. The belly wound is looking better today and that is all that matters.  

Nurse Cindy and Garbage Bag Man

Not to end on a down note, but there may have been some confusion yesterday regarding the pathology report. Yes, the surgery went well and Jim is a good candidate for chemo, but nothing has changed. There is no cure for metastatic colon cancer that has spread to multiple organs. The best case scenario is that chemo buys time. We will move forward with treatment, eyes wide open, pragmatic in our decision-making. We share our experiences as a means to help ourselves as well as those who know and care about us. Jim has made it very clear to all of his medical team that we are not “chasing rainbows,” as he puts it.

For today, it is enough that healing from major surgery continues. Since Jim is tolerating a wider variety of foods well, he got a BLT for lunch. Bacon makes everything in life better.